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Old 10-23-2009, 06:12 PM
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Jeanfromfillmore Jeanfromfillmore is offline
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Old 10-12-2009, 09:55 PM
ilbegone ilbegone is offline
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Graduation

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SANTA BARBARA, CA- UC Santa Barbara graduate Juan Moreno delivered a graduation speech few will forget: a speech riddled with quotes from the Chicano cult movie classic “Bound By Honor: BloodIn, Blood Out.”

Moreno started out in typical fashion, addressing the crowd and thanking the chair of the Chicano Studies Department who introduced him. Then Moreno did the unexpected: he recited verbatim the scholarship acceptance speech of movie character Cruz Candaleria (played by Jesse Borrego).

“My mom was very upset and angry,” said Jaime, Moreno’s brother. “She wasn’t acknowledged at all in the speech. She hit my dad upside the head when Luis thanked his step-mother Dolores. We don’t have a step-mom. My parents aren’t even divorced.”

But Moreno’s homage didn’t end with his recitation of Cruz’s speech. He went on to parrot other quotes that had no clear connection to the graduation or education.

“Most of the time I don’t even pay attention to speakers at graduations,” stated Virginia Lopez, a fellow graduate. “But when I heard him talking about porkchops and calling everyone ‘babycakes’ my ears perked up. I haven’t seen that much stage plagerism since Carlos Mencia performed on campus.”

“As soon as the ceremony was over, I called my secretary and told her to rent me a copy of the movie,” Vice Chancellor Lawrence Sellers stated. “I have no idea what a ‘Chicano u-turn’ is, but I intend to find out.”

The Vice Chancellor said that the graduation speech was so dense with movie references that many attendees had trouble discerning what message Moreno was trying to convey. “Initially when Moreno said ‘Hey, Cinderella! Go find yourself a fella. You’re on the clock bitch and midnight is coming,’ I didn’t know what to think,” he stated.

“But then again, maybe he was reminding the graduates that life is short. That we are all on the clock, so to speak, and that like Cinderella, we should follow our hearts and seek out our dreams,” Sellers mused.

What did the other graduates think? “This ain’t no pinche card game, ese,” Benjamin Flores said. But after some thought, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “Life’s a risk, carnal.”

By: Angela “Chola” Portillo
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