View Full Version : 72 virgins and terrorism

11-25-2015, 09:00 AM
It's finally leaked out as to why Islamic terrorist leaders don't set an example by doing suicide bombing missions themselves. It has to do with the 72 virgins.

You'd think that they would be all out to die in Islamic glory to spend the rest of eternity engaging in non stop carnal delight by standing on a ridge and beating a trash can lid with an AK47 while yelling things like "Yo mama wears a transparent burka! Come get me, you cuckold infidel bastards!!!". But, they hide in caves ("pre Obama") or stroll around in plain site in places like Raqqa (post Bush) churning out fatwas and producing snuff videos while their minions do the dying.

But the reason they don't rush like lemmings to Allah's sensual reward:

The 72 virgins are identical sado-masochistic gay guys somewhat resembling an amalgamation of Andre the giant and Ron Jeremy, hairy back and all and every one of them is fully primed for rip roaring, ass smackin' homosexual fun ("Git back here! I'm not done with you yet!!").

Suicide missions are for useful idiots who didn't get the inside scoop.